Dr. Agatha DaSilva

What started as simply lack of sleep and the adjustment of having a newborn hit me like a ton of bricks. Weeks and weeks of postpartum thoughts and physical feelings I could not control nor have prepared for hit me.  As a naturopathic doctor, a previous nanny, and a friend to many moms, I naively thought “I’ve got this, I will breeze through this.”  Boy, was I wrong.

Postpartum, the time after having your baby. The physical drop in hormone levels can contribute to the development of the “baby blues.” These feelings of sadness, moodiness, emotional highs and lows, are normal in 80% of women. These symptoms start soon after childbirth and linger for 2 weeks. Baby blues that persist with increased intensity is classified as postpartum depression. Postpartum emotions can consist of depression, anxiety, rage, psychosis that ranges from mild to severe.

Things I wish I knew:

• Baby Bonding – What I expected would come naturally, took some work. I didn’t immediately LOVE my baby. I obviously cared for her and felt an overwhelming need to protect her but that desire to love this crying, screaming, cranky thing was foreign. With time, that mama- bear instinct came with full force. Don’t worry, it’s normal!
• Sleep Deprivation – No matter how many times I was told “sleep when the baby sleeps” I simply could not. I would not have been able to imagine what that would be like. Sleep was no longer as simple as closing my eyes; not black out curtains, earplugs, nor babysitter could help. Every thought imaginable would come to mind when my eyes were shut. The postpartum adrenaline rush lasted longer than I would have liked. Don’t expect perfection, give yourself time to adapt.
• Cluster Feeding – This is when the baby eats, and eats, and eats! For me and baby it was every 10 minutes, for hours and hours. When the doctor’s say “baby will need to eat every 2 hours” this was not true for us, the baby is hungry when she is hungry. This is optimal time to learn, when she’s crying she’s most likely hungry and when she is not, then she’s sleepy, needs a burp or a diaper change. Sit back, make some tea and let yourself learn.
• Grief – This time all though a blessing and miraculous, came with a lot of grief. Grief of my past life, grief from the birth, grief of the sleep I once got, the grief of needing to be “ON” all the time. This is a new chapter, one that requires a lot of grace and adaptation. Give yourself time, start routines, and let yourself cry.

What did help:

• Having prepared meals – I was blessed to have family desire to contribute prepared lunches and dinners for weeks postpartum. If you have not added a “meal train” to your baby registry, do that now. Certain websites or applications (Xcel spreadsheet will do) can allow you to select dates and meal preferences that can be helpful during this time.
• Overnight snacks – Whether you are nursing, pumping, formula feeding, cleaning bottles, or are just sleepless, having easy snacks by your bedside is crucial. A few snacks I had ready include.
  • Trail Mix – High in essential fats and nutrients necessary to replenish your tank.
  • Overnight oats – High in fiber and calming to the nervous system.
  • Rice Cakes – Helps balance out blood sugar.
  • Fruit or freeze-dried fruit – Convenient, portable, and nutrient rich.
  • Hard Boiled Eggs – High in protein, choline, iron and calcium great to replenish during nighttime waking’s.
• CALM Magnesium Powder – A medicine cabinet essential, magnesium helps relax blood vessels, helps lower blood pressure, and relax that constipated bowel. This was crucial to help me wind back down after the adrenaline of nighttime nursing.
• Lemon Balm Tea – A sedative and galactagogue to support the nervous system, milk production, healthy skin, and uplift the spirit. This was necessary in helping me get to sleep!
• Watching Movies – You and baby will be taking “Netflix and Chill” to another level. During this time my baby and I taught each other, I learned her sleepy cry, hungry cry, bored cry, cuddle cry, without any pressure. She learned my smell, and my ability to respond to her needs.
• Leave the house – After what felt like endless days and nights, the inside of my house started feeling like a prison. It wasn’t until my mother-in-law took me to get a manicure that I started to feel like life existed outside of my home. Whether it’s an outside walk or walking outside to get the mail, breathe in the fresh air.
• Treat yourself to body work – Make this a part of your self-care. Not only can this aide with lactation, urinary incontinence after vaginal tearing, mastitis, hormone balance but will allow you to start new routines for yourself.
  • Acupuncture
  • Craniosacral
  • Massage
• Talk to other first-time moms – Sometimes family can have many, varying, and opposing opinions on how to care for your baby. So, who do you listen to? What helped me the most was seeking help from first time moms that were currently experiencing the same things. What is happening is common, you are not alone, and it will pass!

If your symptoms are not improving, getting worse, it’s okay to seek help. Call your health care provider. You do not have to be alone.

More information:

• Crisis Text Line, text HOME to 741741
• Depression during and after pregnancy: A resource for women, their families and friends from the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Health Resources and Services Administration, Office of Maternal and Child Health
• Mental Health America
• Moms’ Mental Health Matters
• Mothertobaby.org, How mental illness and its treatment affect pregnancy and breastfeeding from the Organization of Teratology Information Specialists (OTIS)
• National Alliance on Mental Illness, 800-950-NAMI (6264)
• National Institute of Mental Health, “Baby Blues” or Postpartum Depression? Video
• National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 800-273-TALK (8255)
• Postpartum Support International, 800-944-4PPD (4773)
• Substance and Mental Health Services Administration

References:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/symptoms-causes/syc-20376617

https://mountainroseherbs.com/lemon-balm

https://www.marchofdimes.org/find-support/topics/postpartum/baby-blues-after-pregnancy